Mirror Image
by theBrutalityofReality
Summary: I want her to see me...not you. I want her love to be true. I want her to love me for me. Things would be so much easier if you were still here Cloud... Lightning/Tifa. Hints of Cloud/Tifa
1. The First Encounter

Author's Note: Okay so this is probably one of the best fanfictions I've ever written. This is set in the FF7 world, but some things will be tweaked. Lightning and any other FF13 characters I mention all have modified backgrounds and whatnot to fit the story. This is an AU after all. The story is told from Lightning's point of you and most of the time she is saying all of this to Cloud, who is dead in this fanfiction. This story is told mainly through flashbacks and is loosely inspired from the amazing play "Praying For Rain", though only a few ideas from the play were used in this fanfiction.

Also, this is a yuri fanfiction meaning girlxgirl. If you don't like it don't read.

I hope you enjoy and please leave reviews! I love getting opinions!

"Lightning! Please don't leave!" Said the voice of Tifa Lockhart as she rushed down the stairs, chasing after the other woman.

"I'm sick of it! No matter what, I'm not Cloud! Stop using me to remind you of him!" I screamed before storming out of Seventh Heaven bar. It was raining that night. How ironic. I could hear the screams from Tifa, begging me to come back. It sounded like she was crying also. Part of me wanted to turn back. But I knew that I needed some time to myself. I need the time to figure out what I'm doing with my life. And just where Tifa and I are heading. To think…if it rained like it was supposed to that night, you still would have been around Cloud. You and Tifa would probably be together. The two of you were so in love. So perfect for each other. I know…you are the one that she wants. I'm probably just being used by her. But why do I love it so much? Why am I so drawn to her? Why did you have to die Cloud? I'll never forget…the day I first met you.

September of 2002. I was an infantryman there, like you. I never felt like such a rookie before. But I wasn't alone. I remember a lot of other new recruits walking around as well. We all looked so lost and confused. Plus those First Class SOLDIERS just looked so damn intimidating also. There also were not many girls around. That should be expected though. Everyone was so surprised that I made it this far. Girls in this sort of work were extremely rare. Even today, years later, females in that field are so rare. I don't really get it. And when Serah had still been around, she called me all of the time, just to make sure that I was alright. I miss Serah. Snow took her from me. But when I first joined, I think I was trying to get away from her. I thought I needed time to myself. Like I do right now…hopefully things won't turn up the same way tonight with Tifa.

Back then, I really wanted to be a SOLDIER. But all I managed to reach was an infantryman. It seemed like every teenager back then wanted that. I was no different. But I was still happy just to be there. I looked down at the report sheet I was given. I noticed that I'd be going to Nibelheim. I had not been there before. I was from Midgar, and Nibelheim was out in the country. But if I recall, I was still pretty excited. I kept on walking along, when another infantryman came along. He seemed familiar. But he and I never had a real conversation. And that man was you, Cloud. That day would be the first day you and I met. To thin, that our first conversation had been so…simple.

"Hey…you're Lightning, right?" You asked me. I nodded my head. Lightning. That was when I had just changed my name. It was still sort of hard for me to respond to. But now…Claire is just so hard for me to respond to. No one calls me that anymore though. Tifa knows me as Lightning. Everyone knows me as Lightning. But Serah will still call me Claire, when I get an occasional phone call from her. The last time she called me was over six months ago. She told me that she had been expecting. She may have had her baby by now. I might very well be an Aunt. I bet you wanted to have lots of kids with Tifa, right Cloud?

You looked at the ground as you spoke to me. It was obvious that you were kind of shy. Maybe it had to do with the fact that this was all new to you. But it was new to me also. We were both rookies. "I came to tell you that there's been a mistake. I just found out that I'm supposed to go to Nibelheim instead…" You spoke that in such a shy tone of voice. Almost like…you felt guilty for telling me this. I still wonder if this was really a mix-up, or if you were trying to just get to see Tifa. I never did get to find out. The supervisors thought nothing of it. We infantryman were just treated like weapons. Not people. I remember being suspicious of you. But you really did want to go on that mission for some reason. The least that I could do was let you have that much. So…I handed you the information. The first thing that I noticed was a small smile on your face. I always liked when you smiled. When you and Tifa smiled it just made me so happy. And when you smiled at her, and she smiled back at you, I got jealous. I wanted to be the one Tifa was smiling at. She doesn't smile at me like she smiled at you. But that was the first time I really saw your smile, Cloud. And it wasn't just because you got what you wanted. Something more was there. I could sense it off you with ease. And I tended to be a horrible judge of emotions. Correction, I still am horrible at judging emotions. Tifa teases me about it sometimes. And that makes me smile a lot.

You looked up to me. "Thank you." You said and you smiled at me a bit. "You're welcome." I replied and I even had a small smile on my face as well, something that almost never happened. I felt surprisingly curious after this though and next thing I knew, I was asking you a question.

"You seem pretty happy about going to Nibelheim. Is there a reason why?" I asked. You looked down again before speaking. "Well…I'm from Nibelheim actually. So I guess going home would be sort of fun, y'know?" You said. I nodded my head. But even then, I knew that it wasn't just that. You wanted to see Tifa, didn't you Cloud? The girl that you love. The girl that we both love. And if I had known that I would have had the chance to see the girl I would love in the future on that day…I probably wouldn't have let you go. And if I had known what was going to happen with Sephiroth on that day…I definitely wouldn't have let you go. If I could go back to any day in time, my second choice would be going to that day when Sephiroth went mad. And I would have killed him before he had the chance. Imagine how different things would be. If only I could turn back time and do that. Tifa would still have her father. So many lives would be spared. And the whole incident with Sephiroth later on…it would have never happened. But of course, time travel is not possible. You know what my first choice would be? I'd go back to the day that you went for the drive on your motorcycle. The day it was supposed to rain. And…I'd stop you from going out. You'd still be with us today. But now that I think about it…I'm not so sure if I would want to go back in time and stop you. Because if you were still here, I probably would not have gotten Tifa's love. Even if it may all be fake and a lie, it's a beautiful lie. A lie that I'll never want to stop believing.

You glanced at a watch on your hand. "Oh I'm going to be late. I better get going. Thanks again Lightning!" You said and started running off. I watched you run and then I realized something…I didn't know your name. Someone walked by and I tapped them on the shoulder, asking if they knew you. They told me your name. Cloud Strife. A name that I'll never be able to forget. One that I don't think Tifa will be able to forget either. Though I don't think the name Lightning will gain eternity in Tifa's mind. I suddenly remembered just a moment ago, when I had yelled at Tifa. You wouldn't have yelled at Tifa, would you Cloud? You really are better for her than me. Am I selfish for keeping her with me like this? She probably deserves someone better than me. Why can't I make her happy like you did Cloud? Why?


	2. Meeting My Love

Rain is…interesting.

It is almost like nature's way of cleansing things. Like when the rain comes after a period of warm weather. After, it always feels so new. A new beginning. Serah never liked the rain. She used to tell me how raindrops reminded her of tears. And that always seemed to confuse me. Mainly because, I actually had the positive view about rain and Serah had the negative. This was so weird for us. Serah was always so optimistic and sunny. She would even tease me about some of my pessimistic views. I miss the ways that she used to tease me. I just miss her so much. And whenever it rains now, I start to see the rain in the way that Serah saw it. Tears coming from the sky. I bet they are your tears Cloud. I know that Tifa is probably crying right now. And I'm the one to blame for that. I always hate myself after making her cry. I can feel the rain, your tears, all over my face. I'm sitting on a bus stop by myself. I'm in complete solitude, not counting you Cloud. My wet hair is clinging to my face, hiding my eyes. I can't see anything anyway, so I close my eyes. A ring came from my pocket and the caller ID on my phone reads 'Tifa'. But I just can't answer the phone though. For some reason I'm choosing to spend my night in these past memories than in the present with her. I really am an idiot, aren't I Cloud? But I know you'll listen to my memories. You always do. 

Shortly after all that happened with Sephiroth and Nibelheim, I decided to quit SOLDIER. I was absolutely disgusted because of what happened. And the idea of becoming a first class SOLDIER didn't have the same appeal as it used to. For about a year or two, I was out of work. Serah was beginning to worry about me and if we were going to be alright financially. We still had plenty of money from my parents. They died when we were just kids, but at least they left us money to survive. I didn't want Serah to worry too much though. So I decided to find work. Some rich businessman was looking for personal bodyguards. The pay was good, but there was a downside. I had to move to another city that was pretty far from Midgar. I didn't want to leave Serah, but it was a sacrifice I took to give Sera a better life. To think that right after I left, Snow walked into her life and would pretty much replace me in the picture and maybe even in Serah's heart. Snow must have replaced me. I mean, I don't hear from Serah anymore since they got married. But I am glad that I took that job. Because it actually led me to Tifa and to an encounter with you again Cloud.

December of 2007. I was back in Midgar for awhile. My boss had some work in Midgar, so the other bodyguard and I had to escort him. I was glad to be home for awhile, but I knew that it wasn't a vacation. I did get to see Serah for dinner one night. I never will forget how mad I was when I saw Snow sitting at the table. Not only had he been at the table, but he had been in my seat. I always sat at the same seat at the dinner table and when I saw Snow sitting in it, I felt my heart break inside a little bit. And Serah didn't even see anything wrong with it. Just thinking about that night still angers me. That was the first sign that Serah was beginning to replace me. I had been too blind and oblivious back then to take any notice of it. That's another thing that I would go back and change if I had access to a time-machine. Because Snow was always hanging around our house, I didn't spend that much time at home when I was off-duty. I mainly hung around with my co-worker, Shinji. Shinji was also a bodyguard. One night, Shinji managed to convince me to go drinking with him. I was never really one for drinking, so I never really went to any of the bars in Midgar. But since I did not want to go home, I ended up going to the bar that night. And going to the bar that night was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life.

Shinji took me to a small bar in Midgar called Seventh Heaven. I remember how much he raved about the place, especially a certain bar hostess. I didn't really want Shinji to think that I liked girls in that way, so I didn't make any comments on the topic of the 'hot' bar hostess. Truth be told, I was extremely eager to go and see her. I wasn't sure why I kept my sexuality a secret back then. People weren't exactly surprised when I did admit to being gay. I guess it comes with that tough-girl vibe that I've always had. When we first entered the bar, I was a little surprised. Mainly because it didn't seem as great as Shinji had said. It was pretty small, though it was tidy. When we came in it was pretty crowded also. I never liked crowds that much. Guess it comes with being a loner. Shinji was able to get us two stools at the bar. At that point, I really just wanted to have a drink as quickly as I possibly could and get out. But then it all changed when I first noticed Tifa. I was drawn to her immediately. Something about her just blew me away. And unlike the other men, I wasn't staring at her chest. She did have nice breasts, anyone could see that. But she also had a nice face. Correction, she had and still does have a beautiful face. Her eyes are so soft and welcoming. Tifa's eyes are my favorite feature about her. Mainly because her eyes are so…different. Different than mine that is. My eyes are a cold and icy blue. Tifa's eyes are a gentle and warm brown. I could spend a whole day staring into her beautiful eyes. And at that point, I had been praying that she would just look at me. Tifa had been busy with other customers and I was just staring at her. I do wonder if Shinji noticed me staring. I don't recall him saying anything to me during that moment in time. After a moment, Tifa noticed us at the end and came down.

"Hello! What can I get you guys?" Tifa asked us sweetly. Shinji placed his drink order and I didn't even hear what he said, because I was too busy staring at Tifa.

"And for you?" Tifa had asked me. I had managed to snap out of my daze, but I had no idea what I wanted because I had been staring at Tifa.

"Um…I'll have the same." I managed to spit out, though I don't think I was looking at her when I was saying it. I was pretty shy around Tifa when I first met her. She walked off and then Shinji started to talk. But I really don't remember what he had been saying, since my thoughts were still on Tifa. But to be polite I just nodded my head a few times. I guess it worked out since I wasn't really the talkative type either. Tifa soon came back with our drinks and placed them down in front of us. I managed to murmur a thank you, still not able to look at the beauty in front of me. I didn't hear Tifa walk away though. Since I hadn't been looking up, I can only assume that she was staring at me. Especially because of the next thing she said to me.

"You know…you remind me of a friend of mine. Only a girl version I guess." Tifa said with a laugh. I had no idea that she was talking about you, Cloud. I managed to find the courage to look up at her. This was the first time I really got a good look at her face. And on top of that, she had been smiling at me. Her smile was so beautiful. I really miss seeing Tifa smile. Lately she hasn't smiling as much. I think I'm partly to blame for that. But I can still recall the exact look on Tifa's face in that moment. It was the first time that she smiled at me and it doesn't even bother me that she was only smiling because I reminded her of you. I was able to smile back at her, though my smile was pretty weak.

"Oh really? I can only hope that it's a good friend." I said. And I actually made Tifa laugh a bit. I was surprised that she laughed. I was never all that comedic. I wish that I could make her laugh more. She does laugh when she picks on things about me, like my serious attitude. I don't even mind that she's picking on me because it makes her laugh. At least it puts a smile on her face. I really need to make her smile more.

"Yeah, he's a very good friend. So don't worry about that." Tifa said before flashing me one more smile. She went back to work and I just watched her. Thinking back, I was probably being a bit creepy. But I just couldn't help myself. It was the first time I ever saw someone as beautiful as Tifa. Before that, the most beautiful girl I knew was probably my sister. And comparing the two would be just unfair. While I do love Serah, her beauty is nothing compared to Tifa's. To break the staring, I took a sip of my drink. I was surprised by how strong it was. I didn't know what to expect since I just ordered the same thing as Shinji. It was my first real hard drink. On nights like this, when I'm sitting here and thinking of you and these memories, I crave a hard drink. But Tifa doesn't really like when I drink, so I try not to. For a bar hostess, I rarely see her drink. It's sort of odd, but I admire her for that. I admire so much about her. I really do wonder if she admires anything about me. I hope she does, but I don't think I have much worth admiring. I know that she still admires so much about you. She still talks about all of the things that she loves about you. And truth be told, it really does make me jealous. You and I may be similar Cloud, but I don't think that I'll ever be able to be like you completely. I bet that would make Tifa pretty happy though.

After awhile, Shinji wanted to leave but I didn't. I told him some excuse that I can't remember and he just nodded, heading for the inn. I wanted to stay until closing, just so I could see Tifa a little more. It was growing late and most people were starting to head out, meaning Tifa didn't have as much work to do. Closing time was also approaching quickly. Meaning it gave her more of a chance to talk to me. She made her way over to me again and offered me a refill, which I managed to find the words to accept.

"So what's your name?" She asked me while she fixed the drink. I nearly said Claire, believe it or not. I am still not sure why. Maybe it was my first attempt at showing her the real me. I really need to show her more of the real me, since she still sees you in me.

"Lightning." I replied to her. She nodded her head and handed me my drink.

"Lightning. I like it. I'm Tifa." She said an offered me her hand for a handshake. My hand was shaking as I reached out and touched hers. I could only feel her warm skin on the tips of my hands, due to me wearing fingerless gloves. I really wish I could have held her hand longer, but she let go. It wasn't really normal to have that long of a handshake. But I just didn't care. Tifa eventually took her hand back and I took mine back.

"Well Lightning, I actually have to start closing up. I hope that you come back though. It was nice having you around." Tifa said and smiled again. I remember how shocked I was at this. Unfortunately, I learned that why she liked having me around was because I reminded her of you. I've known that for awhile now and I still continue to be in love with her. A small part of me has considered leaving Tifa. But I just can't do that. I just love her too much. And even back then I knew that there was something fishy about her wanting me to come back. But I just didn't care. I came back the next night. And on that night, you would also come back to Tifa.


End file.
